I tightened my grip, adjusted my feet and looked up, only to be blinded by the bright light. It was bright enough for me to to forget that the time was ten at night. As my retinas contracted in retaliation, my mind searched for the next opponent. There, fifty yards away, coming from over the wicket was Anas, the tall fast baller. He swung the ball from good lengths into right handers, but that information was of no use to me. I was not there to play good cricket, impress anyone or even polish my talent, I was there to 'CLUB' the ball!
I was at indoor cricket club, a place where some people had come to become professionals, while others were there to pass time in the summers. However cricket occupied a different role in my life: It was my RELEASE!
Anas started his run up, I moved towards the off-stump, raised my bat and for a moment reflected upon what was going on in my head: My dream university had rejected me, and I was angry and without any other option. Some people would have written about it in a diary, others would have talked to a shrink. I was going to take it out on the 6 inch white ball headed towards me. He pitched it wide outside off, it was back of the length, I got in line, closed my eyes and swung with all the power i could muster.... IT CONNECTED! I opened my eyes to see the white ball soaring high into the sky, past the large tree and toward the north end of the ground. As spectators gazed on and Anas stared at me, I felt fatigued, my hands were throbbing but the tension ... it was gone. No longer did the pain of a gap year haunt me, at least not for that day.
This was what I had been doing for the past month. Life was in a frustrating phase and I had converted my best strength into my way of dealing with things. My huge stature made it all perfectly fit into place, they called me Gayle and everybody except the bowlers appreciated my turn at the pitch. I would patiently collect all the issues that bothered me through out a day and take a crack at them in the evenings. When I came out of the net session, I felt lighter, relieved even. It had become a drug for me, without which I could not function.
A new round started, I played a couple of defensive shots. I was recharging and thinking about the next issue in line that was bugging me. Immediately the intern ship came to mind! I had recently been contacted by an institution i had interned with the previous year, they wanted me to co ordinate the intern ship this year. I agreed after the terms were discussed and was quite pleased with powers I was given. But recently someone new had joined midway through, he was given several of the jobs that were previously under my control. I was not consulted and not even properly notified. The control freak inside me was vexed. I talked to the head and was told to act 'maturely'. As the new person made some changes, I wanted to bash his head in. However, despite my violent tendencies, it didn't seem wise to do so. So I decided to bash the ball in his place. Picturing his face and nothing else, I once again tightened my grip and lined up the next bowler. It was haseeb, the leg-spinner whose 'Googly' (technique of bowling) often confused me. He ran in to ball, I strode down the pitch, bat raised, eyes wide open, ready to bash in the.new.guy's face. The ball was a full toss, my eyes lit up and I swung wildy and once again it connected. I had broken bone, while in reality the ball whizzed past the net, towards legside and hit the water cooler. Once again i felt a mixture of fatigue and immense satisfaction.
The largest issue that faced me that day was perhaps larger than me. It was the overall condition of our country. As if the 10 hours of daily load shedding were not enough, one such hour cost me my new laptop charger. My laptop had been my whole life ever since i bought it 3 weeks ago, because it had bought me a new kind of freedom. That fine day, when the power came back after the regular hour of load shedding, it came in double the supply (i.e. 440 V), and amongst the victims were an air conditioner, a mobile charger and most importantly my laptop charger. It all got me thinking how no one was ever going to be accountable for that days loss; estimating around 25K rupees. That then got me thinking about the state of our country and how no one was ever accountable for anything. As i played a couple of overs defensively, my mind dwelled over this issue and it really hurt. Once again i clenched my wrists and decided the ball must be thrashed. The due process followed with the exception that this time the actual delivery was too good, unplayable almost. I was halfway down the pitch when, at the last moment, the ball spun sharply. I missed it and, almost simultaneously, time slowed down as I heard the sound of falling wood! I had been bowled out! It seemed the issue of Pakistan was not going to be settled that day. No worries, I proudly walked out of the nets, feeling a unique satisfaction and knowing that I would be back next time for my charger.
(p.s: special thanks to JJ for his help)
